A warm welcome to all my faithful followers!
I am aware that two or three believers have posed questions which I have not yet answered – how to deal with ‘friending’ your old English teacher, what to do when the underwire in your bra becomes an ‘overwire’ (don’t lose interest here, chaps – this could well be one of you one day, if not already) and how to deal with all those vouchers you get from those well-known stores but which you forget to redeem. However, today’s subject is one which I am sure will resonate (everything has to ‘resonate’ these days, I find) with you all, and it is called, quite simply…
THAT MOMENT WHEN…
– … you realise you should have stayed on nodding terms with that couple in the pub instead of accidentally getting into conversation with them after two years (blame the alcohol) and learning all the unnecessarily intimate details about his hernia.
Malcolm
– …you hope that your next-door neighbour isn’t awake at four in the morning and listening through the walls when Malcolm-the-strangely-named-cat-from-Australia decides to sleep on your head and the neighbour hears ‘No, Malcolm; get off, Malcolm; no, that hurts, Malcolm (as he ‘massages’ your scalp with his claws); please don’t do that, Malcolm; ah, that’s better, Malcolm; ooh, yes, Malcolm, that’s nice.’ (as he strokes your face with his paw and whiskers).
– …you realise why your new umbrella only cost £1 when it turns inside out at the slightest sign of a breeze.
– …you are singing along to a ‘Driving Songs’ CD as you head up the M1 to Bradford (that’s another story) and realise – with a strange mixture of pride and sorrow – that you know all the words to C W McCall’s ‘Convoy’.
– …you realise you have become an adult when you make a conscious decision NOT to wear a cream jumper on a night out in Bradford, knowing you’ll end up going for a curry.
– …you realise that owning a sports car is no longer on your list of ‘things I want’ because you’d never be able to get in and out of it with anything resembling dignity and, besides, they look so UNSAFE, so close to the ground!
I’m sure you all have your own ‘that moment when…’ memories – feel free to share!
Enjoy your week!